My Boyfriend Is Angry With Me Help
Your relationship was going well… Until your boyfriend suddenly got angry at you – for reasons you’re not very sure of. What do you do?
- get angry back at him?
- worry or fear he won’t forgive you?
- keep apologizing?
More importantly, have those methods helped bring you and your boyfriend closer together… or do you feel him pulling away?
To help you get your relationship back on track, here’s what I do when my boyfriend is angry with me:
I leave him alone.
Why it’s important to leave your boyfriend alone when he’s angry?
From young, boys are taught to be strong. They are told not to cry because crying is weak. They are also told to control their anger when they feel like fighting. Boys are programmed to pride themselves on being able to control their emotions. Hence, when your boyfriend gets angry with you, he is really doing his best to control his anger.
In fact, by losing his cool with you, he may already be feeling ashamed.
You may think he needs your consolation – because that’s what women need. But men need different things. What your boyfriend really needs when he loses control of his emotions, is to have some time and space to cool down. Help him to feel good about himself again because he did it on his own. I guarantee he will appreciate it more than you trying to help solve his problem.
The hardest thing about leaving your boyfriend alone when he’s angry…
Unfortunately, this advice sounds easier than done. I know how challenging it is to leave your boyfriend alone when he’s angry. In the past, I too would rush to try and figure out what was wrong when my boyfriend was angry with me. After a few moments of silence, I’d badger him to talk about “the problem”, thinking it would make things better. But trying to talk about it NEVER helped. He’d either just get angrier or shut down completely. Often, I ended up being the only one talking. Ineffective.
The reason why it’s so hard for you to leave your boyfriend alone when he’s angry with you is because we’re wired so differently from men. Women’s way of solving problems is to talk and discuss it with friends. But men’s way of solving problems is to mull it over and think about it. Very opposite and different ways! So, if you want your relationship to be harmonious, you need to respect that your boyfriend’s manly way of handling things. Leave him alone.
Need help leaving your boyfriend alone?
Here’s what made it easier for me to leave my boyfriend alone when he’s angry… I take the time to
- figure out how I feel about the situation and why I feel this way,
- consider how I contributed to “the problem”,
- think of how I can stop contributing to “the problem”,
- spend time with my girlfriends doing fun female activities like shopping and chatting,
- work on my own goals and dreams.
Most of all, I keep reminding myself that loving someone means giving them what they need, not just what I think they need.
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