A Practical Guide To How To Recover and Get Back On Your Feet After A Break Up: Dos and Don’ts
We’ve all been there, it is a hard time: emotions are running high and you are hurting. Whether it’s you or your partner who ended the relationship, your confidence has suffered and it needs a boost! Follow this guide on what to do and what not to do after a break up and very soon you will find yourself much happier, stronger and finally fully recovered from this emotional hit!
DON’T blame. Blame is all too common at the end of a relationship. It’s hard to find anyone who after a break up doesn’t wonder if there was anything they did wrong. How about you? Did you put the blame on yourself, your ex or perhaps on the both of you? Regardless of your answer, this isn’t healthy. Blaming will only drag you down and make it extremely difficult to move on.
DO accept. Analyse your relationship, draw conclusions, accept what happened and move on. DO make sure you learn from it though- you want to avoid making the same mistakes. So write down what went wrong, things you don’t accept in a partner and use it to create a list of what you WANT from a relationship. Keep this list, because you will need it for guidance in the future!
DON’T bottle up your feelings.
DO cry, get angry and let it all out! The sooner you let go of these feelings, the sooner you will break free! If you need a shoulder to cry on, go and see your best friends, they will be there for you. If you prefer to do it in private, find a place where nobody will hear or see you, and scream and kick it all out! Do it at your own pace, but make sure that you don’t shut yourself away for too long- you need to get out there and enjoy yourself, because life’s too short to waste it on your ex!
DON’T take your anger out on your ex, no matter how hurt you are. This will only make you feel worse. Remember: damage to property is still illegal, even if you think your ex deserves it! So leave the car, shirts or shoes alone- they an innocent party in this.
IN WITH THE NEW AND OUT WITH THE OLD
DON’T sleep in/with your ex’s old garments.
DO buy some new nightwear.
Ladies, invest in a babydoll, bustier, corset or a chemise that will be comfortable and make you feel sexy. Little changes to make you feel good about yourself will help reboot your confidence and self-esteem. Sexy lingerie is the perfect accessory you can wear under your clothes as your own sexy secret! It will help you get your mojo back! And let’s face it: your ex is missing out on a great thing.
DO go out! Instead of sitting around, watching chick-flicks, eating chocolates and moping, get off your bum and do something fun and exciting! Meet your old friends, make some new friends, join a new society or a club, take up a new hobby…! Go out and enjoy yourself. DO live your life! When you’re active and busy enjoying yourself you won’t be thinking about your ex!
DON’T get into rebound relationships! They are NOT good idea! Getting with someone random to get over your ex will not work. You need this “single-time” to recover, find yourself again and learn what it is that you want from your life. Jumping into a new relationship at this point would be very risky as you’re very vulnerable and chances are you will end up with a copy of your ex! DON’T jump into something before you are ready.
Remember when a chapter of your life ends, a new one is just beginning. This is your chance to become independent and happy with yourself. You do not need a relationship to feel good about yourself and the moment you realise it and feel it, you can consider yourself free. You will get through this hard time, all you need to do is to believe in yourself, do and occasionally wear things that make you feel good. New haircut or a lingerie set won’t fix your life, but will fill the rainy days with rays of fun, pleasure and hope!
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